Recently some anonymous people left comments about a woman they feel is being battered in an abusive relationship. They wrote in their comments that this woman came to them for help, got help, but at the urging and insistence of her family and friends went back to the man abusing her. I deleted these comments. I don’t have a problem with the gist of the comments, what I had a problem with was the use of this woman’s name (and those of her alleged abuser and family members) without her permission. This woman is an adult and as an adult, she is free to make whatever decisions she chooses to make. She chose to go back. She is a willing participant in my eyes. I don’t know why she has chosen this for herself, and I am sure many others see her as a helpless victim. I don’t, and I won’t because such a perception when I was in this situation did not help me in any way, it just reinforced the chosen helplessness I’d decided to wallow in.

I am truly grieved that this woman decided to reject the help offered to her and return to the abusive man, but that does not make her helpless. It makes her stuck in crisis mode. She is a full-grown adult and as such I’m going to respect her adult rights. Unless she wants her name on my website, it’s not going to be on here. Period.

This blog entry written by Trula. Thanks for visiting Seed & Flame!

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